In 2004 I shared a therapy room at Foxhole on the Dartington Estate. Back then it was a thriving hub of therapists and small businesses. Sadly it is fenced off and has been empty now for some years but that’s another story. I will now be sharing a room on the Dartington Estate at the Lower Close Studios (formerly known as The Space).
The Dartington Estate with the iconic, Dartington Hall, is set in 1200 acres of parkland just outside Totnes. It’s a place to walk in nature down to the river or take in the history of the place while sitting in one of the cafes.
When I look back on the therapist I was then compared to the therapist I am now, I can see how the life transitions that I have been through, as well as the additional training, mean that I am working in a different way. I would say I am working at more depth and bring a deeper empathy to my practice.
I remember a client from back then who was struggling with parenting her child. She told me how she hadn’t been able to bond with the child as a baby. At that time I was able to listen and empathise but it was beyond my skills to fully understand her or know how to help her. I have a much better understanding of attachment theory now and how our own histories can have so much impact on our capacity to parent. With the same client today I would be able to provide deeper holding and have the tools needed to support her.
Another client was struggling with his family responsibilities and the pressures of his career, as well as a traumatic childhood history. I can see now how that traumatic history had led to addictions and the struggles he was then faced with once his life was seemingly more settled. My approach today would be grounded in understanding the impact of childhood trauma and I would be able to provide the emotional holding and have the tools needed to support this client.
I’ve certainly developed my skills and knowledge through further training but I think it is also my own life experience over the past 20 years that means I understand the territory in a better way when people come to me for help. My own therapeutic journey has been enriched by experiencing the healing power of Pesso Boyden Therapy.
In 2004, I’d recently become a father and we went on to have 2 more children and have many happy times as a family. Raising children is such a rich experience which is hard to describe fully until you’ve been there. There can be so much love and joy but it can also be testing in all sorts of ways. Becoming a parent gave me a new perspective on my own parents and my upbringing. I also know that with family life come challenges and sadly I know the pain of family breakup.
Having worked in frontline children’s social work, I understand what it is like to work in a high pressure, high stakes environment. As a social worker I’ve spent time working with families in challenging circumstances and having many difficult conversations with parents. I’ve listened to children tell their stories and witnessed the impact of early life trauma first hand and the multiple adversities faced by some of these children. This has deepened my understanding of the complexities of childhood trauma. As a manager I’ve had to make decisions around matters of child protection and support staff in their work. These experiences mean that when people seek help around work stress and career choices I am much more aware of this territory and understanding of the pressures involved.
In that time I’ve also experienced the loss of a parent and the impact of this on my life. Support to process grief is often a good time to seek support from a skilled and empathic listener.
Life transitions are a time that people seek therapeutic support. It may be needing support around a relationship difficulty, feeling unresolved following the ending of a relationship or finding yourself falling into the same patterns time and again. Or you may need support to move through a big life event or change. Sometimes people seek support simply feeling that ‘something’s up’ and life isn’t unfolding in quite the way you expected.
Whatever your reason for seeking help, do reach out for support and get in touch with me for an initial chat. Whether that’s to come for some 1:1 therapy or to join one of my workshops; some of my clients do both!
Here is some recent feedback from a client who has attended three of my Pesso Boyden workshops:
I think Pesso Boyden is one of the most effective therapies I have experienced. I have had 3 Pesso sessions with Pete and have been amazed with the impact of each session. After the sessions, I feel lighter and optimistic but I also have noticed how much more confident I am at work and generally with all my communications. Pete is skilled and intuitive and I have recommended him to others.
C, Child Counsellor
